Success Redefined…when wants become needs

What is your relationship with money?  How do you define success?  What is your purpose in life?

Speaker and Author Larry Kesslin took the journey of his life and it was a game changer for how he thought and how he lived.  Whether it was watching the joy of youth as he taught kids how to ski or traveling to far reaches of Africa where abundance was not evident, Larry realized that his definition of success was not making him happy.

Together we explored in UNCOVERED…provocative topics for today’s business world…the impact of how business has operated for the last 30 years and the toll it’s taken on the people.  We talked of rising claims, the impersonalization of workplace relations, and how we’ve lost our way.

For Larry, it took a journey abroad before he realized that success was really about doing what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it…it wasn’t about the job, the company, the house or the location much less the paycheck.

Listen and learn to what SUCCESS REDEFINED can mean for you!


UNCOVERED! Choosing BLISS to Manage Workplace Conflicts

We all deal with conflicts, right?  What would it be like if you knew how to handle them right the first time…every time?

Best-selling author, Moneeka Sawyer, shared her 5-step process for choosing BLISS when dealing with conflicts in the workplace.  We talked about how to “STOP” so you can “be in the moment” to tune into the experience of what you’re feeling…physically and emotionally! And, “BREATHE” so you can “think through the moment.” This helps you choose a course of action that “constructively” manages the moment instead “destructively” escalating the conflict.

What is that emotion that comes up?  Are you feeling FEAR, ANGER, GUILT or HAPPINESS?  These four core emotions are what drives all thinking and behavior.  When we feel any one of the first three, we experience a lack of “psychological safety.”  And, when we feel unsafe, our “drive to survive” kicks in and we react with an instinctual reaction of fight, flight or freeze!  This is where we tend to say things that are hurtful, harmful and damaging…things we can’t take back!

When we pay attention to what we physically feel, we can use those signs to STOP, be in the moment, and BREATHE our way to a calmer course of action.  What would it be like if you could CHOOSE a calmer, peaceful way to conflicts?

Join us to UNCOVER tips and insights on how to handle those difficult people and difficult situations at work…and at home!  And, live a life of BLISS!


Managing Generational Differences with Regina Bernal

Hi, I’m Dr. Debra Dupree, host for the monthly Discovery Show where we uncover the many challenges of today’s work world.

I was excited to have Regina Bernal from USD’s Entrepreneurship programs where I have been honored to participate as a mentor to up and coming entrepreneurs. Regina is not only a millennial herself but knows firsthand the challenges of being a female leader as well as managing up, down and all around…working with those older and younger from a position of leadership.  We talked about how Millennials serve as valuable Subject Matter Mentors, particularly in the area of technology in our day-to-day worlds.  It’s a reframe on how we can learn from mentors at any age!

Our featured guest this past Friday was Regina Bernal, a Millennial with accomplishments and awards beyond her years, Regina leads and enhances major Entrepreneurship opportunities at USD including the V2 Pitch Competition, the Legacy Entrepreneurship Conference, and the coaching and mentoring program for student entrepreneurs.

Having grown up on both sides of the border, she mentors US and Latin American startups. She moves so fast, we suspect her blood type is caffeine but know that she is fueled by all things entrepreneurial on both sides of the border.

Regina can be contacted directly via email or visit her website.

The Science of BLISS…3 tips for making it come alive in your relationships

The February 1st Bliss Bits call was amazing… 

Would you agree that BLISS is a natural state of happiness?  Something we all want, right?

But why is it so hard to achieve?  What gets in the way of choosing BLISS?  I was delighted to have Dr. Debra Dupree dive deeper into the Science of Bliss to help us understand the physiology of our brain and shares three tips for making it come alive in your relationship.

Dr. Dupree has a PsyD in Psychology and is so knowledgeable about the science of how our brains work. If you are interested in learning how to improve all of your relationships, you have to listen to this replay!

Here is the link:

Some of my favorite things Dr. Dupree talked about where:

1) The biological reasons we tend to be predisposed to feeling negative emotions rather than positive emotions. I’ve always known this is true, but now there is scientific evidence, which means we have more information on how to utilize that to achieve more bliss.

2) The biggest reason men and women respond differently in relationships has to do with how much oxytocin we have.

3) She gave 3 awesome tips on how to deal with conflicts that invariably happen in all relationships.

Let me share some more about Dr. D…

She developed her passion for helping people in tough situations from watching her dad crash and burn as a successful businessman to a lost soul…financially, emotionally, and legally.  She became fascinated with what makes people tick and what drives their behavior. To make sure she was on a solid foundation, she first became licensed as a mental health professional many years ago but stepped her knowledge and expertise by completing her doctorate degree in psychology in 2014. Today, Dr. D works with people to recover from the dramas and traumas in their pasts to discover happiness within…moving their relationships from troubled to cooperative, to live healthier and more authentic lives.

3 tips on how to get out of your rut and get unstuck

The Wealthy Wednesday Show is designed for Creative Women Entrepreneurs who choose to triumph in their business to have more money, more freedom and more joy while making an impact on the world. This show is hosted by the top influencer, community builder, sought after transformationalist, and Abundance Breakthrough Coach Luci McMonagle. Join us weekly at 5 pm pacific with expert guests who will empower and inspire you with timeless, practical, and spiritual wisdom for your success.

In spite of Dr. Debra Dupree’s extensive training in the psychology of human behavior, the bottom line is that we are all human and we make choices, right, wrong or indifferent, about what we do, how we do it and with whom we do it. FEAR kept me in a relationship for six years that was not healthy for me. So many life traumas happened in a short period of time in her life that she was clinging on what she once perceived to be a solid foundation, not realizing how the relationship was actually chipping away at her self-confidence and success. Once she really examined what kept her in the relationship versus having a vision for herself she was able to get out of her rut and start tapping into her greatness in the world. Join us for an incredible journey that will give you tips on how to get you out of your rut.

Get her free gift on line at and join her for her FREE monthly calls! Sign up today!  To view the full show, click here.

Emotional Intelligence for Professional Success: What I Learned From Dr. Debra Dupree of Relationships at Work

This past week, Dr. Debra Dupree from Relationships at Work was my guest on Critical Mass Radio Show. Dr. Dupree is taking strides when it comes to helping people recover from drama and trauma from their past and helps them re­direct to discover positive karma. She uses her personal experience to help shape and mold people into becoming a new person that’s ready for success and stronger performances. Here are three takeaways from my time with Dr. Debra Dupree on Critical Mass Radio Show:

1.Emotions are hard­-wired. Most, if not all, of us have experienced trauma in some form throughout our lives. While we usually think of trauma as post-­traumatic stress that can occur from major traumas or disasters, there are also less extreme traumas that can still cause a significant impact in a person’s life, such as the loss of a job, a failing marriage, the lost of a loved one, or even something like not succeeding in personal and professional goals. These events result in a misdirected firing of our neurons in the brain that actually can help contribute to how we feel and act in a given situation.

2. Present yourself in a positive way. The primary way to avoid a bad “bossing” reputation in your given leadership position is to take a look at how you are preventing yourself. This includes physical presentation, body language, as well as vocal tones. These small changes can allow you to reach new levels in your ability to lead and present in a powerful, persuasive, and influential way.

3. Emotional intelligence matters. Believe it or not, intellect, or IQ, is only about 30% of who we are. The majority of who we are is a result of our emotional intelligence, which is rooted in developing self-­awareness, knowing your triggers and your physiological and emotional responses to them. The four core emotions are fear, anger, shame and happiness. Three out of four of these core emotions have a negative basis. Because so much of our emotional experience is negative by nature, it is essential to learn how to monitor and self­-manage these feelings, and figure out what sources typically trigger negative emotional responses. It is also essential to develop an awareness of others and be aware of how your approach to interactions impacts the people you are working with. Two other primary elements of emotional intelligence include the ability to manage relationships and develop the people around you.

To learn more about Dr. Debra Dupree and her work with Relationships and Work, visit

Listen to our full interview with Dr. Dupree below:


Path to Profit Podcast for Creative Entrepreneurs: Leadership vs. Management

How to Fix Your People Problems

David Shriner-Cahn chats with Dr. D about how to fix your people problems. Leveraging her background in psychology and business, Debra helps people master their emotional intelligence, repair damaged relationships, and fulfill their career and life goals. Today she discusses how to build psychological safety in order to have better self-awareness and less conflict in the workplace. She also shows us how to stop taking things so personally, and reveals why business leaders need to move with change instead of rebelling against it.

Topics include:

  • How to build resiliency and flexibility around change
  • Recognizing other people’s perspectives
  • How to repair long-term relationships
  • The importance of self-reevaluating

Over the last 30+ years, Dr. Debra Dupree has been fascinated with what makes people tick…at work and at home.  She became a therapist, mediator, professor and doctor of psychology…and now she’s a public speaker and author. Debra helps people recover from the drama and trauma in their pasts, and helps them discover positive karma. She uncovers those emotional pains that get in the way of true success.  She helps her clients map out a plan for a whole new way of “being” for stronger performances and increased earnings. She helps turnaround what makes good people become bad bosses and what makes great employees fail.

Learn more about Debra at LinkedIn.  As she likes to say…REACH…Recognize your Energy and Act with Courage and Hope!  When the emotional pain is too great, it’s not too late to take action. Contact Dr. Debra now!

The Risky Business of Bad Bossing


ESPN 1700 Radio Talk Show Host and Mortgage Lender Buddy Greene invites Dr. Debra Dupree live to talk about the Risky Business of Bad Bossing.  Find out how bad bossing has its roots in early attachment, the cost and impact of bad bossing on YOU, and the risky business for letting it go on!

Feeling unsafe triggers us emotionally. A whole chain of reactions happens physiologically, generating hormones and neurotransmitters that throw off our sense of cognitive and emotional balance…our sense of safety and security. So how can we create a sense of psychological safety…for ourselves and others…and why does it even matter? Why do we need to be fully aware of the perils of bad bossing?   Listen in and learn!

Dr. Debra regularly speaks to organizations like yours on “how to manage up” when you have a “bad boss” as well as what can be done to turn that “bad boss” around, particularly when the bad boss is YOU!


Avoiding a Bad Boss Reputation and turning into an Unbelievable Leader

Becoming a STAR in Leadership – a September presentation to STAR San Diego Members at the University Club, La Jolla Sheraton, and The Crossings in Carlsbad.  Click here to learn more…

People are people whether at work or at home and relationships ARE work.  They’re like a garden…needing preparation, maintenance, nurturing and and space to grow.  My passion goes all the way back to my childhood growing up in a family that didn’t do well with conflict.  I’ve spent my entire career working with people in relationships but got curious about how good people end up as bad bosses.  So I went back to school to learn more…and started looking for trouble!

Gallup took an in-depth look at the “State of the Workplace”  and found that employee disengagement costs American businesses $359 billion across the nation!

  • Do you know that nearly half of all conflicts at work are directly related to personality clashes…
  • Three out of ten of those conflicts comes from bad bossing.
  • Good people leave bad bossing, not good organizations!

As I look across the room, I see a wealth of experience, wisdom and leadership…so let’s think back to a time in our careers where we were dealing with a bad boss and the impact it had on us.   With a show of hands, how many of you have worked for a BIG BAD BOSS?

Now, let me ask you this…who is or has been a bad boss at some point in their lives?

What are some words to describe Good Bosses?   When you think of Bad Bosses, what words come up?  …quite a difference, right?  Who want to be identified with these kinds of negative words? But do others perceive us this way and we don’t even know it.  Do you really know the impact of your leadership style?

Think about the kinds of conflicts you’ve experienced…firsthand or among your clients.

  • What’s really at the heart of those conflicts?
  • It’s really about understanding how we come across to others…how we impact…and how we can provoke an emotional reaction.
  • It takes courage and curiosity to really understand the emotional intelligence of how we engage.
  • It’s the power of connections that pulls people and projects together.

I GO LOOKING FOR TROUBLE and here’s how I do it.

1)         Heineken contacted me in 2013…they were at their wits end after a year of trying to resolve a conflict internally between two top account managers.  The conflict had grown so difficult that it was impacting one of their big accounts.  One or both of the employees was going to have to go if things didn’t change. In just 3 months through coaching and preparing for mediation, we were able to unravel a year of hostility.

2)         Last year, a trusted colleague called upon me to help one of his longtime friends and progenitor of a family-owned business.  Revenues were down after the recession, power struggles had broken out, financial choke-holds put in place, and family members and employees were not talking.  By helping Mom and Dad look at their own behavior, they were able to recognize the impact they had on the family dynamics and we were able to come up with options for restructuring the organization in ways that better met the family members’ needs.

3)         A couple of years ago, I worked with a 3rd generation family-owned business.  Dad hit 60 and wanted to bring in his stepson and 2 daughters, all in their very early 20’s, into the family business.  Great idea but riddled with family dynamics.  Mom found me out of frustration with the intense sibling rivalry being carried out in the workplace…Dad felt immobilized to do  much about it.  Within five months, we were able to define roles and responsibilities, establish boundaries between appropriate workplace behavior and unhealthy family dynamics, establish Dad’s leadership in the business as well as mediate through some of their differences.

Who has experienced something situations like these?  Let’s see a show of hands.  These conversations DO take time, energy and effort–but compared to the real costs of sticky situations, it’s a small investment. That’s what we can do together…we can be on the watch, looking for trouble that gets in the way of profitable relationships and begin to turn things around.

Oh!…remember your phone leaning on the stand in front of you…this is my gift to you…when things get messy…Call me to take the next step in developing UNBELIEVABLE LEADERSHIP in all that you do!  With a little help bad bosses can be great leaders.