“A goal without a plan is just a dream.”
French author Antoine de Saint Exupéry (1900-1944)
Improving your game, whether you’re emerging as a leader or advancing in your profession, demands an honest assessment of skills and behaviors that may be limiting your performance and impacting how you show up. Success in human relationships where you want to lead and influence others is a skill that can be learned and improved upon.
Athletes are not the only ones who know the value of a good coach. A coach or mentor is someone who not only guides you but helps assess what needs improvement. Afterall, don’t we all want to improve and get better?
Here are three steps to making a difference in how we show up as persons of influence:
THREE STEPS to MINDSET Shift
Your Message Matters…Your Presence Matters
STEP #1 on MINDSET Shift:
What is YOUR Emotional Intelligence (E.Q)?
We all have a story, right? Events and people have shaped our lives, our mindset, and how we show up as adults in ways that we may not even be conscious of. We can either stay locked into our stories or take steps to break free. And, too often we rely on our I.Q. which seldom gets us far when dealing with different people.
As adults, we have the opportunity to make choices that work for us, not against us. We often don’t know where to start, what to do, and how to keep moving forward.
The Universal Law is that we’re either growing or we’re dying. What are you doing…growing or dying?
Are you curious enough to dive deeper to unlock the secrets that hold you back?
The Father of Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, coined four levels as essential to growing our E.Q.
- Social (Other)-awareness
The good news is that E.Q. is learnable and developmental. The feedback you gain from this self-assessment not only helps you get started but also builds confidence on where you currently stand. Scores may range from a low of 5 to a high of 25 on each of the 4 quadrants. Any of the four where your score is 18 and below represents your starting point to grow your E.Q. We just took the guess-work out of it!
STEP ONE: Take the Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment here:
When you're done.
STEP #2 on MINDSET Shift:
The SPICE Game…Diving Deeper into how we communicate
No matter who we are, where we are in the world…no matter about our cultural background, age, or gender, there are four primary communication styles that drive human behavior.
When we understand the basics of communication styles that drive our differences, we can move away from the blame and shame, the drama in relationships, and the disdain and disrespect that tend to erupt around these differences. We can stop the finger-pointing and the shut-down in communications that so often happens in damaged relationships…whether at work or at home.
When we build a framework for understanding differences, we grow in leaps and bounds in what we know about ourselves and what we learn about others. It’s much like cooking! Afterall, the flavor and richness in the food we eat are brought out by how spices come together…or not! Human behavior is very similar…some spices (styles) come together and create savory relationships while others simply clash. But like with cooking, knowing what works together and how makes all the difference!
STEP TWO: Take the SPICE Game here
When you're done.
STEP #3 on MINDSET Shift:
The Animal Game…How do you show up in Conflict?
What kind of ANIMAL are YOU when it comes to dealing with conflict? What do these styles mean and how can we use them?
The modern workplace is a melting pot of people with different backgrounds, skill sets, and visions of success. Diversity in the workplace is a beautiful thing. It brings about new ideas and perspectives that certain groups would otherwise never consider.
However, diversity also represents differences in how we approach conflict. Conflict is inevitable. Any time two people come together with different beliefs, values, expectations, perspectives, and much more, there are bound to be differences. We can often behave in ways that shut others down, rather than promoting resolution. Not only do our communication styles represent the similarities and differences among us as human beings, how we approach conflict should be on the minds of every employee, no matter their ranking.
People's styles may change based on who is involved and the situation around them. Yet, sometimes, people approach situations the same way, time and time again. Being effective in managing conflict, or the differences between people, is knowing when and how to use each of the styles constructively to work towards mutual resolution rather than fighting and remaining at odds.
Keep in mind that each of the five conflict management styles have their strengths and weaknesses. There is no one "right" way to handle conflict and no one style is better or stronger than the others. They all have their time and place.
STEP THREE: Take the ANIMAL Game here
This assessment is intended to identify your top two approaches to dealing with conflict.
When you’re done.
Three powerful steps to MINDSET Shift are yours now!
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