With Dr. Debra Dupree
The MINDSET Doc
The SPICE Game
Understanding Self…Understanding Others
Building Emotional Intelligence for Better Communication
What’s the SPICE Game?
No matter who we are, where we are in the world…no matter about our cultural background, age, or gender, there are four primary communication styles that drive human behavior.
When we understand the basics of communication styles that drive our differences, we can move away from the blame and shame, the drama in relationships, and the disdain and disrespect that tend to erupt around these differences. We can stop the finger-pointing and the shut-down in communications that so often happens in damaged relationships…whether at work or at home.
Instead, we can connect, listen and engage with an understanding of these different styles (only 4, not many) and manage our relationships with others more effectively. We can learn to come from a place of emotional intelligence, acknowledgement, and compassion. And, we can begin to learn from each other, broadening our perspectives, strengthening our decision-making, and making good choices about how to engage with (and lead) others more effectively AND strategically.
Certainly, who we are is not just about these 4 communication styles. There are influences from many factors that shape who we are and how we show up: cultural, regional, historical, religious, educational, early childhood, work experiences, job titles and, not to forget, gender differences. So many things shape our personalities.
Yet, by simplifying the framework for understanding basic differences along these four styles, we grow in leaps and bounds in what we know about ourselves and what we learn about others. It’s much like cooking! Afterall, the flavor and richness in the food we eat are brought out by how spices come together…or not! Human behavior is very similar…some spices (styles) come together and create savory relationships while others simply clash. But like with cooking, knowing what works together and how makes all the difference!
So, let’s start cooking and dive deeper into the world of human spices!
Getting Started: To successfully complete this simple exercise, your job is to go through 4 columns of words associated with each SPICE. Be honest with yourself and check off each box next to the words that BEST describe YOU. At the end of column, your check marks will be automatically total up.
The highest score represents your PRIMARY Spice Style. The second highest score represents your SECONDARY Spice Style. Now keep in mind that everyone has a little bit of each SPICE style. The strength of your scores shows you how much you have! All scores will be summarized at the end.