Out of Moments of Pain Comes the Momentum for Gain

When Antonio first reached out to me, his look was frantic, his speech was rapid, and his voice anxious with despair.

He described a lifestyle filled with ease, good looks and fast times fueled by his success in medical sales.

He and his partner, however, decided a change in venue was needed for their relationship so moved further south to a less fast-paced city.

While continuing his success in sales and embracing the more relaxed lifestyle, he started to realize a void, a lack of happiness with what he was doing. The glitz and recognition he had in his field were beginning to wane. The company continued to talk big but wasn’t delivering on their promises.

With these mixed messages, he started talking to friends in different fields. He discovered an attraction to a different kind of sales – a field in which he had no experience but much more direct contact with people who he could help fulfill their dreams and make things happen.

He took the plunge by taking the test to get his real estate license but didn’t give up his day job. Yet, his unhappiness (and confusion) grew as he compared and contrasted the two fields. He knew he had to get out of his current field.

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

That’s when he sought help to navigate through his terror of what to do next. He was finally curious enough to be courageous enough to get some coaching.

After hearing his story and his dilemma, we listed out his top three fears.

From there, we tested out reality, challenged his perceptions, built up his courage by mapping out a step-by-step plan. And, we built up his confidence by rehearsing how to have some difficult conversations with his current organization about money, fair treatment, and respect.

After a few weeks (and COVID-19 induced hiatus), Antonio returned. New fears surfaced that begged redirection.

Is there a difference between how you see things and how they really are?

Out of his painful days in late 2019 and early 2020, he accomplished some amazing things during a time of economic downturn and decreased social interactions. He just didn’t see it.

After some targeted questions, the evidence became real. By his own admission, he gaged his own state of happiness at 25% improvement in just 8 months from when we first started working together. His success in sales was even more evident.

While the average salesperson sells three properties per year, he achieved 6 since getting his license 10 months ago. All his bills were paid off and he was on a roll for higher earnings than ever.

By looking at these accomplishments through the lens of someone else, Antonio was able to experience the success of what these past 8 months had done for him. The look in his eyes, the softening of his face by feeling joy and pride instead of stress and worry was real.

How could coaching help?

He said to me at our last coaching session that he found himself looking at the “why” of going through these past and present painful moments and recognized that “life wasn’t happening to him but happening for him.”

In our review, he discovered a new appreciation for how small steps can lead to huge gains. Not only did those moments of pain ignite action but also built momentum for gain. He didn’t want to stay stuck in where he was but didn’t know how to find his way out.

He could now forgive himself for the self-bashing of the past and acknowledge that it got him nowhere. Instead, he was grateful for the lessons learned and choices made with guided support. Through reflection, he could see from a new perspective how much fuller his life was and would continue to be if he opened up to appreciate who he was. And, to stay true to the journey of learning about self and others.

As we closed, he stated “I’m comfortable with ME!”

Antonio made the decision to leave once again his old firm as he realized the mismatch in values and went on to negotiate much more favorable terms and conditions with a new company. He feels acknowledged for the person he is and the gifts he has to offer. He is set up for success in ways he never imagined and is excited about life, learning and growing.

Are you satisfied how you show up in your professional life?

Would you like to achieve more and be happy at the same time?

Book your 15-minute 1:1 call with Dr. Dupree to explore your options and become an Agile Leader.

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